Don’t Call The Loser A Loser

Dr.Hetal Desai

Don’t call the loser, a ‘loser’

According to a recent study, winning tends to make people more aggressive towards the defeated. Lisa Antao analyses why...

All of us have been winners and losers at various points of time in our lives. Whether it was a dance, elocution or drawing competitions at school or perhaps competions at inter-collegiate festivals or competition at the professional level. And sure, all of us have at sometime or the other tasted defeat at the hands of others, some of us having borne the brunt of being teased, mocked and bullied at the hands of the 'winner' having our loss rubbed into our faces. According to a recent study, winning tends to make people more aggressive towards the defeated. In other words, people get more aggressive when they feel powerful and therfore, the losers end up bearing the brunt of their aggression. So what exactly makes winners act in this sort of a hostile manner? Read on to find out why...

Why does this happen?

Corporate wellness and leadership facilitator Dr Hetal Desai has come across such events in training programs and especially during various group activities, where the winning team behaves more aggressively and overpowering towards the others. She explains, "Not just in India or any other country, winning or losing is more individual and team centric. Every thought or event generates a certain emotion and emotion energy that leads to a particular physical or emotional behaviour and the winning team exhibits their winning emotion and energy."

Further explaining that winners who get aggressive could have underlying internal conflicts such as low self-esteem, low self-concept, low self-confidence, high need for attention and approval or inability to handle criticism, etc. Thus, this person experiences more pressure to maintain his/her success causing anxiety which may manifest as aggression. She adds, "Winners may try to elevate their own sense of superiority originally coming from an inferiority complex by being aggressive and putting others who do not win, down. This is common from the Indian society's perspective as there is constant comparison and pressure of performance by either family or society here."

Children too, exhibit such behaviour
Unfortunately, this aggressive behaviour exists in children as well. Competition has always been present in schools, but the added pressure of performance by parents and teachers mainly, is the cause of aggression. Parents may pass on their ambitions or personal desire for success onto their children, modelling more aggression and rejection towards defeat. This would in turn make them look down upon others who do not excel, opines Hetal Desai.

Children are more vulnerable to changing behaviours with respect to their age, conditioning and events that trigger them, be it competition or peer pressure. Childern get victimised if exposed repeatedly to negative actions or events. Children and adults may experience isolated acts of aggression, but children live with ongoing fear of recurring events and fear of loss and issues of low self esteem, confidence, anxiety and much more, warns Hetal Desai.