Are you an online shopaholic?

With customers being spoilt for convenience, choice and prices, online shopping addiction is on the rise, finds Lisa Antao. 

If you regularly watch TV, there's no way you can miss those ads by e-shopping websites. Every website looks tempting — with promises of crazy deals, fantastic discounts, amazing variety, free home delivery and in some cases, even exchange offers and 30-day money guarantee. And why just TV? The internet, radio and print media have also joined the bandwagon. Thanks to this publicity overdrive, there's a new breed of online shoppers, many of whom are addicted to it. And for those who haven't tried it, the question is, for how long can you resist the lure? 

Hooked to e-shopping
Suzanne Choksi (name changed), a 24-year-old PR executive, proudly states that she's hooked to online shopping. "If there's a superlative to addiction, that's what I have. I have this weird idea of online retail therapy, so whenever I am bored or depressed, I take to shopping. I shop for apparels, jewellery, accessories, electronics and also household items. I spend a few thousand rupees every month, but there are times I've spent Rs 7,000 on a single purchase," says she. Suzanne has overspent many times, but that hasn't helped curb her temptation. "I have even got my friends addicted to online shopping. I was lured by TV and internet ads. That's how I got introduced to it. When I realised it's safe, reliable and quick shopping, I started trying it more. Now, I'm spending most of my money on it," she confesses. 

Men are hooked, too
There's this stereotype that only women crave retail therapy. That's far from true. Raj Kanwar, the 42-year-old CEO of a renowned firm in the city, is an online shopping addict. Recalls Dr Desai, "Even while working, Raj used to visit online shopping websites as he enjoyed window shopping there. His purchases mainly comprised gadgets, clothes and shoes." 

While handling Raj's case, Hetal understood that he had co-related issues like loneliness (due to bad relationships), low self-esteem and unhealthy lifestyle. He overcompensated for whatever he was lacking by shopping impulsively. And he did it online because he had no time to visit malls or stores. He loved cheap deals and gifting all those goodies to family members to gain their attention. On the other hand, his was so obsessed with online shopping that he did not even have time for family. 

Underlying Causes
Apart from tempting offers, the convenience of using plastic money (credit card) lures a lot of people, says Dr Hetal Desai. Low emotional phase, lack of time, no work-life balance, stress and quick buys are the other reasons. Many online shopaholics try to conceal their addiction from family and close friends. 

Trade speak
Susan Aniyan, assistant manager (customer service) at an online shopping website, Zivame that exclusively sells lingerie, says that their firm has witnessed tremendous growth in the number of customers. "When I joined this firm about months ago, we used to get around 100-150 customers per day. But now, it has increased to more than a lakh," says she. The sheer variety of brands and sizes — especially the bigger ones — and a good customer service are the reasons behind this success, says Aniyan. 

She is not surprised people are addicted to online shopping. "Once they understand how convenient it is, they're back again," says she. As for consumer demographics, though a majority of customers are working women, there are regular male shoppers as well. Majority of them are from cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Pune and Ahmedabad. 

How to curb your addiction
Corporate wellness expert  Hetal Desai shares the following tips:
Keep a list of tasks and activities to be done. Ensure there's not much free time for online shopping.
Add products to your wish list or shopping cart, but delay buying. Review the list after a few days and you might end up striking off most items.
Practise dynamic office yoga and breathing exercises to release negative emotions and stress.
Keep a check on your credit cards. Minimise their use and number to ensure less financial stress.
Use debit cards or cash-on-delivery mode for purchase.
Deal with emotions through healthy communication with partner, family and friends.

Hypnofertility Therapy Comes To Town

How it works
Dr Hetal, a clinical hypnotherapist, says that for couples undergoing Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), including hypnotherapy in their treatment can double the success rate. "It works with the subconscious mind to release blockages and de-condition the mind from fears that could lead to infertility," she explains.

Popular abroad
Sarojini Alva, a hypnotherapy practitioner based in the US, says that it's a popular alternative option for couples there. "Marie Mongan encouraged treating infertility through hypnosis, which came into being about ten years ago." It's popular in Europe and is catching on in Canada, she adds.

Plan of action
"Induction techniques like reverse counting, progressive relaxation and white light healing are used to take the couple into a deep hypnosis state wherein the physical body is relaxed and the mind is very receptive to healing suggestions," explains Dr Pandya. "Crayon drawings and paintings are also used to work with the belief and thought of a person. A hereditary family tree is also used to identify and break patterns if any," she adds. While in most cases, both partners have to undergo hypnotherapy, in some cases only one of them requires therapy.
"The programme also tackles ancillary issues like thyroid anomalies, etc. by eliminating stress. The sessions required varies from case to case. 

Bonding benefits
Hypnotherapy helps couples deal with the effects of infertility and make changes that can help to positively impact their fertility. "It can make the treatment process easier and help them to handle the outcome better, irrespective of what the results might be," which is more important than promising miracles, says Alva. The "best side effect" as Dr Hetal beautifully puts, "is a stronger bond between the couples."

Don’t Call The Loser A Loser

Dr.Hetal Desai

Don’t call the loser, a ‘loser’

According to a recent study, winning tends to make people more aggressive towards the defeated. Lisa Antao analyses why...

All of us have been winners and losers at various points of time in our lives. Whether it was a dance, elocution or drawing competitions at school or perhaps competions at inter-collegiate festivals or competition at the professional level. And sure, all of us have at sometime or the other tasted defeat at the hands of others, some of us having borne the brunt of being teased, mocked and bullied at the hands of the 'winner' having our loss rubbed into our faces. According to a recent study, winning tends to make people more aggressive towards the defeated. In other words, people get more aggressive when they feel powerful and therfore, the losers end up bearing the brunt of their aggression. So what exactly makes winners act in this sort of a hostile manner? Read on to find out why...

Why does this happen?

Corporate wellness and leadership facilitator Dr Hetal Desai has come across such events in training programs and especially during various group activities, where the winning team behaves more aggressively and overpowering towards the others. She explains, "Not just in India or any other country, winning or losing is more individual and team centric. Every thought or event generates a certain emotion and emotion energy that leads to a particular physical or emotional behaviour and the winning team exhibits their winning emotion and energy."

Further explaining that winners who get aggressive could have underlying internal conflicts such as low self-esteem, low self-concept, low self-confidence, high need for attention and approval or inability to handle criticism, etc. Thus, this person experiences more pressure to maintain his/her success causing anxiety which may manifest as aggression. She adds, "Winners may try to elevate their own sense of superiority originally coming from an inferiority complex by being aggressive and putting others who do not win, down. This is common from the Indian society's perspective as there is constant comparison and pressure of performance by either family or society here."

Children too, exhibit such behaviour
Unfortunately, this aggressive behaviour exists in children as well. Competition has always been present in schools, but the added pressure of performance by parents and teachers mainly, is the cause of aggression. Parents may pass on their ambitions or personal desire for success onto their children, modelling more aggression and rejection towards defeat. This would in turn make them look down upon others who do not excel, opines Hetal Desai.

Children are more vulnerable to changing behaviours with respect to their age, conditioning and events that trigger them, be it competition or peer pressure. Childern get victimised if exposed repeatedly to negative actions or events. Children and adults may experience isolated acts of aggression, but children live with ongoing fear of recurring events and fear of loss and issues of low self esteem, confidence, anxiety and much more, warns Hetal Desai.